Merry go round

I feel like I drown in a lake filled with thoughts

That are not entirely mine

I remember how it felt to have your lips

Kiss my ear

As if you were claiming me as your own

I've gotten used to clinging on the merry go round

Of people pleasing

Afraid to break free from the loop

But I don't notice you choking me

With your streams of control,

Until I read your gaze

To find that you secretly love

When I fall helplessly into your palms

Like you planned for us to meet again

Except now I find myself in the void

On whether to accept your advances

Or push you away

As if a dirty filter covers my heart,

And I can no longer hear it