The illusion of falling behind

The illusion of falling behind

Feels like a pressure chamber

Filled with air that likes to whisper

That you will never measure up

To what people expect of you

But it is a sneaky trap

That sucks out your vitality

Until you wither inside the shadows

Covered in a thick blanket of regret

When you let the soul navigate,

There is no pressure

No forced performance

No empty pride

But a beautiful forest

Abundant in love and trust

The inferno comes alive

The inferno comes alive,

A wealth of gold travels down the stream,

Dripping with vitality

The feeling reminds me of trapped heat,

Aching to find the surface,

To relieve itself

I let my inner world burn

Not to destroy it,

But to let it be in it's natural form

Unfazed

Unwithered beauty

Puppet Masters

The dark alleyways

Cast their eerie glow

Reminding me of a past

That can never be erased

I felt the bone deep trembling,

As the hands controlling the cards

Weren't my hands

But rather the hands of family

Disguised as puppet masters

Who drew out my fate

The words of protest dies in my throat

While the rise of an insatiable thirst

Keeps me in the game

The darkness becomes home

The darkness becomes comfortable

When all you have the strength to do

Is shrink into the shadows

And try to ignore the pang of anger

That nearly broke the door down

The darkness becomes home

When you never bother to speak

With a quiet trembling voice

In the moment,

It feels safe to hide

But the rushing sea of shame

Never leaves

Until you stand up

And unlock the door,

To confront what you thought wasn't possible

Holding the capacity for love

Holding the capacity to love you

Feels like I am standing before a giant mammoth

Every time you walk towards me,

My world breaks apart piece by piece

I thought it was right to turn the other way,

To run from an experience

I never had before,

But deep down,

There was a belief that led me to acting detached,

It felt normal for the ego,

But it started to suffocate my soul,

The roots felt unmovable

An ancient energy

That cannot be forgotten

The roots carried worthlessness

And it became unbearable to look away

As long as the ice sent shivers down my skin,

My belief would continue to run like a stream,

And my capacity to hold love leaks out

But when you said I was beautiful,

I could feel the ice melt away completely,

And I started to see myself through your eyes