The Healer's Ache

The ache holds stories

Of ones I did not write

Stories built just for safety--

A river of unawareness flows

Until the jolt of electricity

Opens my eyes

And I can see the knots clearly

Enough to say thank you

For making me realize

That I had a choice

To continue the stories

Or close the book forever

The waiting game

Yearning for you

Becomes hard when life moves us

In our own unique solo dance

The waiting game

That seeks to stifle the flames

Our souls created together

To find meaning behind

The word

Love

I had two feet nestled between two realms

The realm where I waited for you

As the days became nights

And the seasons pushed through

Or the realm where I acted on the desire

To keep you by my side

Even when your soul wanted you to fly

Love has never been easy,

But it gently holds the space

For every part of us

Your soul already knows

The womb listens

To what is verbally not said,

The tension,

The flood of emotions

Even the sensations your body

Responds to when your sexual fire

Opens another portal

To a dimension your soul already knows

But now you're not afraid

Of the murmuring

From those who never dared

To alchemize what lies on the other side

The darkness where your soul

Finds the golden keys,

The medicine,

Healing one step at a time

I want to know your darkness

I want to know your darkness,

The kind that you've spent lifetimes

Hiding

A phantom that comes and goes

Without control

I want to know about the electricity

That travels up your spine

Every time you claim dominance

I want to understand

The river of abuse

Cloaked behind your eyes

Waiting to devour you whole

Your intimidating stare

Holds a million unspoken cries

Just wanting to erupt

But only when you feel safe

And the feeling of humiliation

Is no longer present

Empty void

The predator seeks out the prey

When the castle walls dry up like dead leaves

Yet the empty void exists

Between the desire to love

And the shine of a sword

That appears in my dreams

Preparing to kill